He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize