i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize