You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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