Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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