If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
