Got a toothbrush?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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