What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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