VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
