I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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