i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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