We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
