woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
