East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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