it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
