dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
