Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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