Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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