they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Everything about him screamed your future.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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