never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
