I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
