apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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