I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize