it's not cheating when I paid for it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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