Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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