After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm at about main and main street
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize