I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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