I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
