How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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