Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
