is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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