I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
