i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
