If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
