omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
