You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
