Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
