the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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