what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
