If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
