uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize