I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
