Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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