i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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