So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
