You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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