are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
