Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
