he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
