Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
