Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
