once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
