Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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