We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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