he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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