Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize