Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
