bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
