Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
this is an emotional support booty call
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
