I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
