he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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