With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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