I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
