You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
