just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just want to make out with him forever
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
